first, second, third
by KiraSakura
Summary: Brainy remembers the feeling of his heart breaking in two, one half forever laying within Superman’s unknowing hands .x. and for the first time since he left Brainy, Clark wishes for green eyes and green smiles .x. drabble .x. Superman/Brainiac5 .x.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Legion of Superheroes – it belongs to DC Comics.

**Warnings: **Nothing I can think of.

**Author's Notes: **My wonderful brain-wench gave me a set number of words to write this to, so it's 678 words long. Was surprisingly difficult. I blame the fact that's five in the morning. Was beta'd by the ever incredible JM Selleck. Who happens to be the same brain-wench.

* * *

Their first kiss is vivid and clear and stunningly prominent in Brainy's mind. He can remember the smell and the feel, of musk and sweat and hard muscles beneath his hands. He can remember the taste of chapped lips and the gentle, accidental clack of teeth hitting teeth, and he can remember the way strong hands grasped his hips and held him close. The feeling of warmth – something so foreign to him until that moment – seeping through and making his heart hammer, and the remembrance of soft sighs and murmurs of love and promise.

He can remember the elation, and then the realization, the knowledge that he cannot ruin history's course like this, that he cannot be selfish like he wishes and keep this man, this wonderful human being, because the sands of time have already dictated that his heart belongs to another. A beautiful woman waits in the past for Superman's touch, for his love and adoration, and Brainy has neither the heart nor the strength to take that away from her. He knows he cannot bear the understanding that he's ruined another's life by taking away her love, and he knows that if he demands that Clark stay in the future he will age like Brainy now will, and when it comes time for Brainy to pass and for Superman to return, neither will be able to part.

It has the potential to cause millions to lose their lives, and no matter how much he wants to Brainy cannot take that from them. They are innocent and have their own loves and lives, and Brainy feels that, deep down, he does not deserve this – not for what he has done, not for what he fears he will do, when he startles awake in the middle of the night with images of carnage and destruction filling his mind.

He is tainted and dark and a mess of a person, whilst Superman is strong and good and pure. He can remember pushing Clark away, and taking his hand, leading him to the large room where Computo awaits, seemingly knowing and understanding what must be done. Another kiss – his second – and a hug, strong arms around small, thin green shoulders, and then a voice.

_Brainy? What's wrong? You're crying._

Brainy can remember his third kiss, his last kiss, flavoured with the salt of tears and regret, and he can remember Superman's confused expression. And then a small tube descends from the ceiling, and Clark's sudden understanding, _No, Brainy, don't do this, you don't have to do this, nothing will change, it won't matter_, and the look of sadness and defeat in clear, blue eyes.

_I love you, Superman... Clark Kent. I love you._

And then a flash and a gasp, and it's all gone – erased with a simple switch. Superman has forgotten Brainy's first kiss, and Brainy can only watch as he shakes his head in confusion, and then tell Brainy he's going to go lie down for a bit before Kell-El's initiation ceremony, because he has a headache.

And Brainy remembers the feeling of his heart breaking in two, one half forever laying within Superman's unknowing hands.

* * *

He wakes with a start, and jerking upwards Clark blinks rapidly. Tears dot his eyelashes as he stares into the darkness, and he thinks of his dream – of green lips and laughing emerald eyes and happiness – and wonders. The dream feels so real in his mind, and he swears he can still feel the kisses. But he knows that that can't be. He and Brainy were only friends, and parted ways like that, even if Clark wanted more, so much more.

"Clark? Honey, are you okay? You're crying!"

And then Louis' hand, soft and small, touches his arm, and he can only shake his head and murmur in reply, "It... just a dream. I'm fine – yes, just a dream."

Louis smiles up at him, moonlight illuminating her figure, and for the first time since he left that time – left Brainy – Clark wishes for green eyes and green smiles.


End file.
